I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize