I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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