Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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