There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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