How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Your penis caused this!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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