there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize