i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize