After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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