Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize