i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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