I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize