OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize