guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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