Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(573): View more from Missouri

Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??

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(573): Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B?? http://tfl.nu/t2no

Replies (21) Good night (3420) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
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(702): View more from Nevada

i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers

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(702): i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers http://tfl.nu/2g28

Replies (3) Good night (2498) Bad night (369)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...

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(920): the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof... http://tfl.nu/xn7m

Replies (26) Good night (3276) Bad night (369) Order T-Shirt
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(757): View more from Virginia

I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.

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(757): I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it. http://tfl.nu/uqxt

Replies (13) Good night (9433) Bad night (1630) Order T-Shirt
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.

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(412): You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats. http://tfl.nu/gybz

Replies (35) Good night (1222) Bad night (3978) Order T-Shirt
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(425): View more from Washington

Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.

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(425): Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me. http://tfl.nu/edgt

Replies (20) Good night (1240) Bad night (4702) Order T-Shirt
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

You're barking up the wrong lesbian.

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(715): You're barking up the wrong lesbian. http://tfl.nu/4ul9

Replies (11) Good night (4180) Bad night (998) Order T-Shirt
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.

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(+44): ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret. http://tfl.nu/fyhz

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(678): View more from Georgia

If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.

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(678): If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me. http://tfl.nu/3kcp

Replies (5) Good night (1308) Bad night (1663) Order T-Shirt
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(480): View more from Arizona

Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.

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(480): Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT. http://tfl.nu/l2cm

Replies (8) Good night (1850) Bad night (457)
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(914): View more from New York

Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.

(1-914): View more from New York

You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.

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(914): Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county. (1-914): You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud. http://tfl.nu/15gl

Replies (3) Good night (1956) Bad night (567)
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(415): View more from California

The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.

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(415): The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes. http://tfl.nu/qcrt

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.

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(864): I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out. http://tfl.nu/hn3q

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(760): View more from California

I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME

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(760): I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME http://tfl.nu/7g5e

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(614): View more from Ohio

Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.

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(614): Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on. http://tfl.nu/zmme

Replies (17) Good night (3411) Bad night (576) Order T-Shirt

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