it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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