she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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