i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
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I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
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