we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
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Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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