i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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