So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My dad is sitting where you rode me
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize