Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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