my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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