You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
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We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
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The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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