i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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