My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize