i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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