well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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