This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize