if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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