dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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