They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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