why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I don't deserve a penis
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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