Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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