first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
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