WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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