Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize