at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize