you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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