Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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