; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
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Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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