I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You're like the curious george of whores
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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