his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize