let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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