No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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