We won't sleep together?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Randomize