operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
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I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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