How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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