She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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