Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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