wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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